"I have today told the executive committee of my local party that I'm now far too important to be the candidate for Stalybridge and Hyde at the next general election.
I have been honoured to have had the privilege of getting my snout in the Westminster trough whilst representing Nu Labour and this has been an extremely difficult decision to make. But I have decided that I have networked enough contacts to keep me in directorships for the rest of my life.
I've never done a days work outside of Westminster. And while this has been a huge privilege, I'm sure there's still a few bob to be made outside of frontline politics.
I'm looking forward to hammering the last nail in the socialist heart of Labour at Demos. After that my hope is to make money on the after dinner circuit like my special friend Tony.
I do want to thank all the gullible sods who voted for me in the last two elections, and especially the saps of the local Labour party, who thought I might have actually cared for people rather than capital. Har har!
I hope they are as proud as I am of what we've done together, not least the way I've made the scroungers doff their caps for their pittance, and the trousering that my friends can expect from the new PFI funded hospital.
Guest Post By Chris H of Lansbury's Lido Blog