Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Olympic Site Shocker!

Ancient city unearthed in Stratford

Workmen on the 2012 Olympic site were left Flabbergasted as bulldozers uncovered a perfectly preserved Ancient Olympic city, on the very spot of the 2012 Olympic Games, Stratford. A 'master-race' community of Ancient Olympic Athletes including Koroibos, who won the 600 feet foot race in 776DC was found to be living in a city, situated 100ft underground since 500bc. Site worker Bill Billingsgate spoke exclusively to The Socialist Way.
"I'm Stunned, one minute I woz diggin and the next thing I know a whole city popped up from nowhere with people included. They're all really friendly. My new best mate is Hippedes, the ancient javelin thrower" Marshha of the local Sainsbury's watched amazed from behind her till as the city rose up on the Stratford horizon. We asked her what she thought: "It's such a coincidence, that we're having the Olympics and they're here! The Ancient Olympians have already expressed their interest in competing in the 2012 Olymipic Games, replacing our current national team. Psycho-Anthropologist and Newham Recorder columnist Bob Barltrop said, "This supreme race, existing underground for all these thousands of years are well on the road to take the place of our current celebrity icons. They are good-looking, muscular, immortal and what's more they don't use drugs to enhance performance." Local campaigners, historians, shop keepers, dog walkers, street dancers, bus drivers and English Heritage demand we preserve this ancient city in all its glory but Sir Robin Wales the Mayor of Newham and the Olympic developers says, "No. We're building flats and that's final. A spokesperson for the councils homeless persons unit said; "the ancient athlete's will be suitably re-housed in the hospitable borough of Barking and Dagenham."

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